Christians, Let's Talk About Sex

Christians, Let’s Talk About Sex

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I brought this conversation recently on on our WhatsApp group and most people shied away from the disgusting talk. I mean, how can a Christian, saved from the world, saved from the patterns of this world talk about such?

Well, in the other world – people do not shy away from such conversations. They freely talk about their sexual partners and their experiences.

They even advice each other on what to do, how to spice it up and when or not to use protection.

Christians, on the other hand, avoid such conversations. It is much easier hanging out after church and talking about how the Almighty has been gracious to you rather than talk about detestable issues like sex.

Most Christians think that once you are born again you are full proof against sexual sin. Most ‘worldly’ people criticize Christians for being lukewarm people who ‘play with God’.

To the eyes of many, Christians seem to have it all. With the heavy Christian lingo and tons of memorized verses, how can one be struggling with masturbation or sex addiction?

It always seems that sexual urges always bows to a Christian armored with the word. It seems that a Christian fully devoted is never aroused or disturbed with such filthy thoughts.

If I told you your pastor has had (or still has) such thoughts or urges you will immediately retort, ‘How can you?’ This is because of how you have esteemed him to be, a pure-white saint worthy.

David, (Haha, I know what you are thinking – but sorry this is not the cliche excuse of sexual immorality) a man after God’s own heart (Quoted a million and one times, I know), a man who fellowshipped with God, a man who wrote beautiful psalms about God sinned.

David was a fully matured Christian. He started seeing the hand of God when he was very tender and God elevated him into the position of a King.

His maturity, however, did not shield him from sexual immorality. It is sad that he was not only sexual immoral but he also murdered.

I need not tell you the many other stories of sexual immorality in the Bible, let that be your homework.

Now, why don’t Christians talk about sex? Simple, it is something most of them are struggling with and they do not want to feel less of Christians.

It is so easy for a Christian to give a testimony of how of a drug addict, thief or liar he/she was rather than say that he/she was gay, lesbian, sex addict, porn addict or addicted to masturbation. Why? Because sexual sin is viewed as greater and shameful sin.

Most Christians, especially the young are struggling with sexual sin. Most of them have sex with their lovers or are deep in their dungeons of perversion where they watch porn and masturbate.

Guilt cuts through their souls and some continue with the journey, some continue sinning and say God will understand and some quit the faith because they feel they are ‘playing with God.’

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The most viral talk surrounds pregnant girls in church. In any village, in any town, any pregnant girl and any guy who impregnates a girl in the church especially in the choir is seen as the devil who does not deserve a place in ministry.

Abraham, a man of great faith. Quoted severally in the Bible that his faith is something to emulate, Abraham the man who God used to wake up at night and tell him that his offsprings will be like the stars sinned against God.

His wife Sarah was able to convince him to stop waiting on God and sleep with her maid.

It is funny that in Romans 4 we are told that Abraham’s FAITH was credited as righteousness. It is also very ironical that God went ahead to bless Solomon, the product of David’s immorality.

What most Christian doctrines teach us is that we are filthy, dirty and cast away once we sin against our flesh. We are worse than murderers when we are sexually immoral than when we are pretenders.

It is sad that a few young Christians who I have talked to asked me the question, ‘Are you sure sex is a sin?’

While sex will not be preached openly in church, and the fear of being judged by your fellow Christians will prevail, one will find a listening ear or a place to put out their raging fire.

One will call their ex-girlfriend or boyfriend or a ‘friend who is in the world’ to express how they feel. This, in turn, leads to tragedy and hence the loop of sinning, guilt, repenting and making new resolutions.

Some have completely given up on God thinking that He is not helping them with their sexual desires.

So how do you handle all these? Sexual addiction, pornography, masturbation? By praying? By reading the Bible? Have you ever opened up to a fellow Christian about sex and they open you a verse or told you to pray?

Well, maybe he is in the same abyss as you? But what happened to confessing your sins to one another as in James 5:16? Why are there so many Christian dating sermons talking about the rules and laws but not the how? Why can’t anybody get into the depth of this monster?

Paul says that the old was crucified and we are no longer slaves of sin. He says that as death had no mastery of Jesus, sin has no mastery over us. He continues to say that we are dead to sin.

One who cannot control their sexual urges will tell you that this scripture doesn’t apply to them as they have tried all they could.

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So then, after all these diagnoses, how do you overcome all these? How do you beat the flesh? How do you follow Paul’s instruction of ‘Do not let sin reign in your mortal body?’

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I tell my friends that your body is designed to cling to the world. It is dirt. It is of this world and that’s why sleep and laziness will yoke you to lethargy.

That’s why sexual sin, greed, slander and hate will define you while patience, kindness or self-control will be a nightmare to achieve.

Your flesh is your greatest enemy. A friend recently asked me what I need him to pray for me and I told him to tell God to help me beat the flesh.

Paul says that the mind governed by the flesh is death but the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace.

You cannot live by the flesh and overcome sexual sin. But how do you live by the spirit?

We are always told that we should seek the kingdom and that we have a spirit that is not timid but gives us power, love and self-discipline. Are we ever taught of how to live by it?

You are what you eat. When one goes for counseling, let’s say for depression or alcoholism, they are normally asked what their triggers are.

You cannot feed the flesh and expect to live by the spirit. The Bible explicitly states that the flesh and the spirit are at war as in Galatians 5:17.

You do not expect to watch movies with sexual scenes or half-naked people on social media and the internet and expect to be free from sexual sin.

There’s a reason why Paul said ‘The Mind governed.’ The mind reacts very fast to triggers in its environment. You do not expect to hang around with peers who 80% of the time talk about sex and expect to be free.

You can pray all you want, read the Bible all you want but you won’t be full-proof against your flesh. The word of God is lamp over your feet yes, but you need to walk. You need to ACT for FAITH without ACTION is dead.

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18

But there are times you cannot flee. It is just inevitable when that crush is in your house and you are helpless. What should you do?

But resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7

But wait, that’s all? Flee from sexual immorality and resist the devil? I have tried that but it never worked. But how many times have you done it?

Do you think by the snap of a finger you will be free? – to some, it has but not to all. The Bible has acknowledged that we are not equal in faith, some a weaker.

It is okay to fall. (I know some are thinking that am giving a leeway to sin) Salvation is a continuous battle, the battle of beating the flesh. Paul says that he disciplines his body like an athlete, training it to do what it should.

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Beating your flesh is continuous, athletes train every single moment to attain perfection but when do you beat your flesh? Only on Sundays? Or when there are eyes around you?

Finally, keep this in mind, ‘You will NEVER attain God’s righteousness.’ You will fall again and again, not necessarily through sexual sin but in any other sin.

What is mostly preached is perfection and absolute righteousness but the Bible tells you that no one is righteous not even one.

In fact in Romans 11:32 the Bible says that, ‘For God has bound everyone over to disobedience so that he may have mercy on them all.’ – This should however not be an excuse to sin as each time you sin knowingly you return Christ to the cross.

Find an accountability partner, strive to live in the spirit, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other. Above all, seek the truth. The truth is the word of God.

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I hope you loved the above article. I am sorry I went MIA for like two Mondays. This is because I moved to Narok, like permanently because I got a new job. (Testimony coming in Dec keep tuned) So there are lots of updates,

  1. We have a new App, Yeeeeiiii – Better, improved and you can now get instant updates when any post publishes. You can search Silomasays on Google Play or download it here.
  2. For those who were following Wicked Woman, our Swazi friend Mcebo Metfula has finished the book (Now called Wicked Girl) and has made the novel exclusively available for Silomasays readers in PDF, download it here. Otherwise find the link to Amazon Kindle here. Please leave a review.
  3. We have a WhatsApp group #JesusAllTheWay where we talk deep stuff about our journey in salvation. Interested? Kindly notify me in the comment section below.
  4. I do daily Inspirational graphics that centres on Inspiration, Motivation, Rebuke and Hope that publishes every morning on Kkrew Bible Study & Silomasays Facebook Pages, Silomasays Instagram page and is sent to a Silomasays WhatsApp broadcast group – Kindly notify me on the comments should you be interested I add you.
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Siloma Stephen

Siloma Stephen

I describe myself as simple yet complex, difficult to fathom and a hard nut to crack. I am made of unfailing love, one that sails my boat and oversees my flaws, one that binds me not on any law but nourishes my soul. I write from my soul, generally anything I feel I need to get off my chest most of which is based on my own life experiences, talents, and passions.

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About Author

Siloma Stephen

Siloma Stephen

I describe myself as simple yet complex, difficult to fathom and a hard nut to crack. I am made of unfailing love, one that sails my boat and oversees my flaws, one that binds me not on any law but nourishes my soul. I write from my soul, generally anything I feel I need to get off my chest most of which is based on my own life experiences, talents, and passions.

Follow me on Twitter

About Author

Siloma Stephen

Siloma Stephen

I describe myself as simple yet complex, difficult to fathom and a hard nut to crack. I am made of unfailing love, one that sails my boat and oversees my flaws, one that binds me not on any law but nourishes my soul. I write from my soul, generally anything I feel I need to get off my chest most of which is based on my own life experiences, talents, and passions.

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