I now hope that you have achieved everything in life. You now have that good job or that booming business, your account is fat and your pockets ever loaded. I hope things are good for you, you have already acquired your first ride, you are thinking of buying a house in the city and maybe a beach house as life goes by. I really do hope that that girlfriend of yours is no money-sucking sponge but one who really loves you beyond the flipping papers and the ‘keep change’ phrases. Well, it should please me that all this is just a fallacy but no, maybe things have changed.
I hated you, never had second thoughts on that. Had I had a permit to kill then, you would have topped on my list. Yes, you incapacitated me, I wish you had done this physically but sadly you had me drowned into my own thoughts of despair. It started as a joke, where you vehemently teased me of where I came from, my marginalized background and my inability to speak the city’s language. The teasing matured into an abuse, wait, did it have to get physical. You saw me as crap, took me as shit, worthless, one who could not think or act on his own and a lesser being. Maybe you are now thinking, ‘Did this guy take all this crap seriously?’ Yes I did.
Well, maybe in your luxurious life you do not have it in mind that you killed a soul, killed a dream and subjected one to self-pity and hate. Maybe it doesn’t ring a bell that you made one make life irreversible life choices. Do I have the right to be angry? Do I have the right to hate you? To see you as the littlest of humans and regard you as murk? Just to think on the extremes, do I have the right to subject you to infinite pain should I have the power? And what exactly did you gain from discriminating, hating and cursing? What did you get in return from quenching your narcissist thirst? Fame? A crown to be the elite? The swirling top of the cone?
Well, I have no house like yours, no big job or dreams like yours. Maybe I took the last seven years of my life reconstructing and pulling myself from this abyss that you put me in. I don’t have much to boast about, I even don’t have a girlfriend; who in their right mind would fall in love with such a scrap? I don’t have those fancy captions or catchy hashtags on Instagram showing moments spent in clubs and holidays in South Coast. I do not have a single photo of myself on or near an airport, I don’t even know how a plane looks like on the inside. I am maybe that poor chap you still knew in high school, one hopeless guy with no future. One whose life is about seeking attention to be a someone; run blogs, post inspirational graphics and post Bible verses online. I may be that guy who sought solace in Christ, that poor soul who cannot have a ‘click’ or hang out with his boys. I am that poor God-freak who has nothing but lies on a false hope that is in Christ. What a miserable life, what a sad continuation and ending, you were not wrong about me.
What do I gain from hating you? Nothing… What did you gain from hating me? Well, you drained thoughts of a great me into the abysmal pit of ‘I am not good enough.’ Is that a win for you? You were/are not wrong about me, am that poor chap who sought Christ for solace. You are however very wrong about me, I am not that miserable guy you used to know. They say what doesn’t kill you make you stronger and I have to thank you for making me strong. I realized that unlike you I need not seek approval from mankind, I need not have to be in that ‘click’. I need not show my masterly in diving into the worldly. Everything happens for a purpose, maybe I would be hanging with you right now and someone else we bullied would be writing this post. Maybe no one would be telling us about Christ.
I found Christ and now I want to speak to you about Him. I hold nothing against you. More holes would punch in my heart if I held bitterness so dear. I might have hated you but He tells me that I should love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. He asks me of what use is to love only those who love me? The Bible, probably the hardest book to read if your soul is not inclined to Him tells me that I should consider it great joy should I undergo various kinds of suffering. I didn’t consider great joy when I went through the furnace of your bullying but I am considering it great joy because of what good fruits it is reaping. Maybe this letter will bring you to Christ. I have come to realize that everything works together for good and He is intentional about whatever happens in my life. Maybe what is running in your head is, ‘Yeah yeah, another Christian way of giving their miserable selves hope, another consolation phrase from them.’ I learnt about Christian Fellowship at its best and realized that there is no use judging you and regarding you as filth. There is still hope for a tree that has been cut down. And of what use is of me judging those outside the church? Shouldn’t I extend the freely-given grace and minister to them?
I want you to be my brother, my fellow worker and my closest friend and that’s why I am bringing you this good news, ‘You need Christ!’ I know most times you feel that lacking in your soul. You at times feel that grave loneliness in you and you realize that outside the ‘click’ there is life to live on your own. This is because there is a God-shaped hole in every human not filled by ‘clicks’ not filled by girls, expensive luxury holidays, money nor debauchery. I do not feel jealous that you have all these nor am I saying they are bad, in fact I would so much want them but when coupled with the one who gives control over them. I know at times when all is still comes that voice. That sweet and calm voice that convicts you into doing good. The voice that constantly reminds you that nothing is coincidence or an accident. Am here to tell you that that voice is real. That is the voice that you should listen to. I was sent to say this to you, to speak to you, to make you realize that you are in dire need of a savior and from that I will walk with you in faith. What are you waiting for?
*This article is based on true events. This is to all those who encountered or are still encountering bullying in school or in life. This is to all those who have been sidelined because they say you are not too good, you don’t fit in or are regarded as filth. You do not need man’s approval on anything, you weren’t made to fit either. You are beautiful, awesome, intelligent, great and favored. Let no human put you down. Most of all, whatever is good and noble, hold it close to you, do not hold anger and bitterness in you, you are too blessed to hold such.