It hit headlines, it was all over the news. Not El-Nino, not the teacher’s strike, not the current economy but the news of her death. A painful death for that matter. It was in the Daily Nation, Citizen News, Nairobi News and other blogs first hand in creating content for their site’s traffic.
I will not talk about her painful death, nor will I talk of how much I hate Mwiki Sacco and the whole ordeal. Instead I will talk more of a person I valued, a person who left a mark in my life and one who strived to see good in the world.
Bianca (Njeri Gicheha) has been my neighbor for a year plus. She was this quiet Christian girl who loved the Lord. She was this beautiful girl who never missed any JCC sermons on Sunday while I was busy listening to the latest dancehall music cursing along the explicit lyrics. I was pretty bad in terms of faith. I was naive and arrogant and constantly wanted to test those that were in faith.
Bianca was my target. I loved beautiful and innocent preys who believe were rooted in the word. I was negative. I was full of pride and always wanted to prove a point. I had a dictatorial mind and it was always my way. I had two rules, 1. I am always right 2. In case am wrong, refer to my first rule. My prey seemed to have handled people like me but not me. She confessed that I was worse.
We clicked in so fast. Not in love but as pals. I used to visit her and talks about the world, life and spirituality ensued. I would feed her with crap, negativity and atheism. She would in turn feed me with positivity and Christianity. I would tell her of the meaningless religion and pretense in believers. She would in turn show me that these people are not perfect but are better than me. At least they are trying. She had proved hard at the first blow but I strived to make her believe otherwise.
I knew nothing about the Bible but Satan has a way of putting controversial statements in your tongue. Satan has a way of putting evil and contradictory thoughts in you, especially if you are the one going to test Bianca’s faith. We would talk for hours, we would argue for hours. We would go silent for minutes and bid each other good night! She would get fed up with me. She would get pissed at my words but one weird thing is that she has never told me to stop talking or ever quit on me.
There was this specific time that I had planted a seed in her life. She was somehow conforming to my negative statements and ill thoughts and I thought that I had won. I had lost the meaning of religion. Like many other people I was confident I can do own my own provided me and my cool God and I are in terms. Provided I do the basics of following the law and knowing that every action has consequences. I was not the devil and neither was I the angel. All I wanted to do with Bianca was to tell her that she can do strongly by her own without affiliating herself with religion.
Bianca was spiritual, she prayed a lot. She seeked advice from strong spiritual friends and went to her bishop and her exact words to me were, “I went and told my bishop that there is this friend of mine who challenges me daily about the Bible, he keeps on testing me and at times I cannot answer him. He is here to corrupt my faith.” The Bishop told her that she needs to pray a lot for this and there was a reason why this was happening.
There was this one specific day that she talked to me about Christ. I knew everything about Jesus. Or else I thought I knew everything about Jesus. She told me one thing that has stuck to me to date. She often took her Bible to reference anything she told me about. She told me that Jesus became sin for me, She said that Jesus was my advocate to the father. She told me that I don’t need to be perfect to be called a Christian. I just needed to give my all. She told me that she is neither perfect, she sins too but she doesn’t let sin be her portion.
Like a rainbow, every color of my life unfolded, after months of arguing. I had thought that being Christian was to be perfect and in every sin you were considered an outcast. I used to renew my faith frequently only that I would fall short of the glory again and again and that’s why I was quitting. That was why I was seeking my own religion. I went quiet that day. I never asked my questions, I never tried to inflict my ill and negative thoughts to her brain.
I had joined Kkrew long way back only that I was not a consistent member. I was not really there for the fellowship but that was a social hangout place for me where I could just make noise and meet new people. I used to invite her to Kkrew. I did that frequently even when I used to challenge her. I knew that even if Kkrew wasn’t a place for me it would do her well.
The sessions of arguing and negativity changed to sessions of questions and bible study. We would talk more about God, about Christ and about life. We would talk more about how Christ loved us. I would get to my house and ask myself how the heaven this is happening. I became a consistent member of Kkrew Bible Study and even started writing every sermon on my blog. I was not until Bianca once wronged me that everything turned sour. I never used to forgive people. I used quit on people easily.
I was hurt. I wondered why. I was deeply in pain as the person who helped me through Christianity had done me wrong. I almost quit on Christianity but I stuck to my Bible Study sessions as they were uplifting and every time I went to Bible Study, I got something positive and nourishing. I would feel my pride depreciating. It was not until one Tuesday evening when I attended Kkrew BS and to my amazement Bianca was there. My heart skipped a beat. I was not at peace.
She joined our county (small Kkrew Bible Study group) Enlighters. She was introduced to the group and we welcomed her. After the county meeting, I decided to ignore her and rush home but she approached me and said she was sorry. I felt this warmth and heavy burden kicked away from me and I hugged her telling her that all is well, had forgiven her and I was very proud of her as it is not easy acknowledging that you are in the wrong and asking for forgiveness. We went home together and in the matatu we would always preach to each other again. We would strengthen each other’s faith more and more, sharing devotions and positively challenging each other in the word.
With no doubt, I can say that Bianca is the reason am still very much rooted in Christ. I can firmly attest that she had an impact upon my life. An impact that all my friends can see. She is the reason am doing well in salvation. She never quit on me. She never pushed me away. She always answered that knock even when she was bored of me and my talks. She prayed for me. She forgave me of all the wrongs I did to her. She made me forgive. She taught me love, she taught me how to handle people like me, she taught me to teach others the word of God and above all, she always smiled, no matter the challenge.
Guys, how many crazy people will come into your life and be good to them? How many people will stress you, challenge your faith, be a burden, prove hard to convince and still put them close? How many people will wrong you and still forgive? How many people do you pray for?
Bianca, you have taught me much in life. You have taught me not to quit on people. You have taught me much than I can say on this post but it is said that we should not put a question mark where God puts a period. I believe you are at a better place. What more would anyone deserve than a life well lived? A life where everyone celebrates you for the good you have done to the world?
Bianca’s last Whatsapp notification said, “His Grace is Sufficient for Me!” God’s grace is truly sufficient guys.
Rest in Peace beautiful soul!