For a long time in my life, I have corrupted myself with stupid thoughts from my worldly observations. My view of Christians was that they are the poorest persons I have ever seen. I saw that these guys have totally no fun in this life as they would read the book that bores me most, the Bible, they would attend boring church sermons and listen to preachers who give them false hope, would not listen to the latest heavy beat music but would just stick to boring praise and worship Christian music, they would even deny themselves food as they fast and pray like nobody’s business.
They would attribute everything to two forces, good or bad where good comes from God and evil comes from Satan. For a moment I thought, “Does their God really answer them? As they have nothing? They don’t come from posh suburbs; they don’t have fancy clothes or that classy lifestyle but would do everything to worship in truth and in spirit. I saw that am as blessed, more blessed than these naive guys because I am a Christian with swag. A Christian who would still listen to secular music and skip the vulgar language and proceed to the next verse.
I saw that these naive and poor Christians are in bondage. They do not know how to worship with swag. They would hang around with boring Christian friends with their routine boring life, worshiping and praying for hours, going to Church very early in the morning while they could just be seated on the couch and watch Sunday service on TV or would switch to other channels if they found that particular one boring. My thinking was, provided I prayed to God, thanking Him for my family, health and wealth and confess my sins daily before I sleep so that if I die in my sleep I can just find myself in Heaven, I am a Christian who enjoys life and is ready for the promised land as I would comfort myself with verses like “He does not rebuke us according to our transgressions” A verse I cannot remember where it is located.
It was at my graduation ceremony that everything changed. A cousin of mine came with a friend. As the party continued, I went to their table and we started having a chat. It was then that someone asked me why I am not drinking and I gladly told them that the doctor told me not to, the friend to my cousin then asked why. I gladly told her that I have a condition. I told her that I have seizures and currently am under medication. I put the scientific terms in my explanation as if am describing something very good. She then interrupted my very detailed scientific explanation and told me not to continue explaining. She told me not to testify bad things in my life.
I felt like giving her a high five. On the face. With the chair I was sitting on. I started thinking of how stupid this girl was. She started quoting from the Bible why we should not testify bad things upon our lives and I was like “Is this girl nuts? Does it change anything? Does it change the fact that I am sick? And why was she asking in the first place?
To channel my anger, I asked her, “So what do you think I should have said?” She replied, “You should have said you HAD a condition and now you are getting better.” I then rudely asked myself, “How does that change the situation? Does it make the condition go away?” I saw that this girl was ruining my day and I left that table.
I then looked at my cousin and started imagining about her fake spiritual life and that mongrel that she brought to ruin my special day. I didn’t really know why these simple words troubled me.
Days passed and these words just grew from just being a candle hot fire to an inferno in my life. I wondered why words from a total stranger kept haunting me. To comfort myself as I usually do, I sought some source of inspiration. I downloaded some Joel Osteen’s podcasts.
The first podcast was about “Increasing your capacity to receive” in which he quoted Psalms 37:19 that says “Even in famine the righteous will have more than enough” and I being stupid and naive judged that the same Bible says no one is righteous. Not even one. So that is a lie. No one can live a perfect sinless life.
The second podcast was titled “God wants to amaze you” quoting Habakkuk 1:5 that says “I would do something in your day that you would not believe even if you were told” I thought again, is Habakkuk a book in the Bible? He then added, “Do not let the unbelief keep you from believing.” Negative thoughts still raged inside my head, “How does God want to amaze me? Life is always hard, even the staunch ones live the hardest lives.” I got bored and it took sometime before I watched the third podcast.
To my amazement the third podcast was titled “Speaking faith into your future” and for a moment I thought, “This is going to be an interesting one!” After the usual joke and the “This is my Bible and I am what is says I am” phrase, he quoted from Proverbs 6:2 that says “We are snared by the words of our mouth.” What he said next changed my perspective of what we speak on your lives and the undefeated me just conceded defeat and I realized that the girl was right. He continued and said “Don’t use words to DESCRIBE the situation but rather use words to CHANGE the situation.” He added “Quit saying defeat over your life, always say positive declarations over your life. Don’t be against yourself.” The final statement was a blast “When you criticize yourself, you are criticizing God’s own creation!”
I realized that God is finally speaking to me, a reason why I was troubled with the words that the girl said to me. I realized that whatever bad utterances we say upon our lives is not Godly, it is not my disease, it is not my condition, it is not our family problems, it is not ‘that is how I usually am’, it is not ‘it’s like we are cursed’ etc. Positive utterances upon our lives change what we are. Actually it is true what Joel Osteen says, our words should change our situation.
Like to emphasize on what message I viewed on the podcast, YouTube video suggestions started popping on the suggestion tab and I saw another Joel Osteen on Oprah saying that whatever follows “IAM” says who you really are.
It was then that I realized that my definition of a blessing was material. I thought to be blessed was to own the world, to have fancy clothes, classy lifestyle etc. I now started seeing the poor Christians as the blessed God’s children because the world and everything in it is owned by God.
I thought God’s calling is supernatural, a scary dream that says “Siloma wake up and turn to me immediately!” but no, a calling can be that random girl appearing on your graduation ceremony, a calling can be that one YouTube video suggestion amidst you current very explicit playlist, a calling can be that advice from that poor ‘swagless’ Christian friend that you cannot get rid of, a calling can be that voice deep inside you that tells you, it’s time, a calling can even be this story of a young man destroyed by information from the internet wanting to know more about where this world came from, if God really exists, religions fights, aliens etc forgetting that that information has been put there by humans like me.
A calling can be as simple as realizing that once you do evil, you are Satan’s and he will not come looking for you. It is that realization that heaven and hell is real and no Science really proves where you go after death. It is that realization that this note has said much of the truth and not something just to please your ears. It is that realization that you have just read another long note, not about news of the catchy headline stories or maybe of your favorite book series or article but one that tells you that life in salvation is the best and that a good Christian worships in truth and in spirit. It doesn’t matter how early or late you come to Jesus, so long as you are alive, it is never too late, it is now time to please the creator and not the creation. And you will indeed TESTIFY the awesome things that the LORD will do to you.