Let’s talk today, let’s talk about alcohol. Let’s talk about the joint and the many women who have satisfied your sexual pleasures.
Many people have judged you. You have been judged for being a womanizer, an alcoholic and a lost drug addict.
Your own family has nothing to do with you because you are a useless alcoholic, the girlfriend you used to indulge in drugs with changed her ways and left you even the Christian friends who stuck with you for a while can no longer tolerate you.
You have tried the Church but you seem off. You seem like an outcast, a degenerate full of filth and murk. This Jesus thing is not working. Every word the pastor preached sounded condemning. You couldn’t plug into the youth ministry because you couldn’t resist the butt. You couldn’t join the music ministry because they said you need to be clean.
Praying to you was the hardest thing ever. As others were mumbling words you couldn’t understand, you were busy fantasizing about the good sex you had the previous night. You always condemned yourself for thinking about such filth in the presence of the Holy Ghost. You couldn’t comprehend how you got into the Church in the first place, where everyone seemed perfect; holier than thou.
But your ‘Boys Club’ understands you. Those who you smoke herb with, those who you share your ‘whores’ with, yes, that gang that’s always on your side. You fit in with your fellow alcoholics and drug addicts. But you know it is wrong, you feel that you are not supposed to be there but you cannot help it, they are the only ones who understand you. Deep inside this voice troubles you, telling you you need to change your life but you cannot comprehend going back to the Church, to the place you cannot fit.
Well, your family members got fed up by your mischiefs and you feel lost, broken, empty and hopeless and alcohol, drugs and women give you temporary pleasure. No one else seems to know or understand what your going through, nobody understands the conflict within you and no one wants to even think that you would love change. Nobody sees you as a noble or worthy person.
You think your gang know and understand about you but they offer no solution, they are also lost and you are diving into this endless pit together. It is clearly revealed to you that blind men cannot help each other cross the busy highway.
So what is the way forward? How can you get off this confusing haze and pitch darkness?
It starts with you. Yes, you. Perhaps you have heard this phrase a million times. The first step is to knowing who you are and sticking to that with all your might. You are beautiful, you are a man of honor, even in your drunkenness, you are noble and worthy. You are responsible even though they have stamped titles on you. You are morally upright though they call you a womanizer and a filthy drug addict. That is the TRUTH and no one should convince you otherwise. Anything negative and opposite to that is a LIE.
Know that nobody is perfect nor holy. Though they seem so, nobody has their life together. People get weak even though they do not show it, people fall and sometimes they perform horrendous evil deeds so do not condemn yourself. I said it starts with you, so do not condemn yourself because other people who seem perfect are condemning you. Even Jesus Himself does not condemn you. “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him.” – John 3:17
Once you get this, it becomes a foundation of who you are, of what you know and believe about yourself. A house divided against itself cannot stand. If your house (your inner self) is divided against itself you will not stand, you will continue to fall into addiction, into hopelessness, and into this lie that you are unworthy and useless. So keep your house in order. Believe in the truth. The truth is anything positive that tells you positive things that build you. The inner voice that tells you you need to change to a better man is the truth but the one that tells you to give up is a lie. “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” – John 8:32
The next step is to shun anything and anyone that says and suggests negative things to you. Because you have known the truth, let it set you free by overcoming every lie with it. When they whisper, “See, the crazy, hopeless fellow is coming”, Say and testify within yourself, “Hail, the King, the most respected man of the society is walking through the land.” Do not let any negative voice convince you otherwise. Say and think positive things about yourself. I know it is not easy, you may fail so many times because the lie was stamped in you and it will take time to erase it but do not lose hope.
Now that you are melting with positivity, overcoming the lie; the women, the alcohol, and the drugs wouldn’t be as hard. Overcoming the titles they gave you would be easy as you now know who you are. A step at a time. Probably they told you before that you can break addiction with the snap of a finger and that’s where you fell and got even more hopeless. Did you know that Jesus loves you even with your addiction? Yes, He left the 99 and went to seek the one, which was you. No one should condemn or judge you because they sin differently. To you this is a struggle and you need support to overcome it.
I am not here to sound all ‘Churchy’. Preaching to you how much Jesus hates alcoholics, womanizers, and drug addicts, instead I am the Church, that is the place for you, come with your bhang, with your adultery and your filth. We, churchgoers, are not clean anyway. We are full of filth and that’s why we approach the throne of mercy. The church is not a club for the holier than thou but a hospital for sinners. It is a place where you should feel, “Well, these people understand me. This is home. This is where I should be, forever.”
You are still a person even if you indulge in drugs and alcohol. The Creator of the universe loves you much more than any man would do. If He qualifies you, even the family that neglected you will be on their knees saying, “Sorry, we thought less of you and saw you less of a person.” If you turn into a new leaf, the church members who condemned you will now want to be associated with you. And should they see your success stories on all media, they will be the first to say, “This guy was my close friend, I know his journey!”
So don’t break an addiction to please people. Don’t do it for your mum, friends, wife, or pastor. No! Do it for you and God. God wants the best things for you. God is eternal and immortal and so will be the motivation for breaking the addiction. Do it for you because you already declared that you are noble, worthy, and responsible. Because you declared that, now show it. Start by reducing a bottle of your normal intake. Start by not flirting with that one girl. Some have broken out of addiction instantly and others have taken years. Don’t compare yourself with other people, this journey is yours alone. Don’t also compare your number one to someone else’s number 99.
Even if you stop a bottle a month do not lose hope, even if you fall back and you see you are not progressing, do not let the lie we talked about get inside you. Affirm your journey with words like “I can and I will” “Nobody will stop me” “I know I can” etc. Picture a perfect you, a person responsible, and out of addiction and make that your goal. Fix your eyes towards that. The major step and the most important is to have discipline and consistency and you will surely break free.
No matter how slow you go, enjoy and appreciate the little progress you are making and always focus towards your goal. Rome wasn’t built in a day and so will be you breaking off that addiction. I constantly say it doesn’t matter how you go, you may run, you may walk or crawl, all that doesn’t matter so long as you are moving. Just move, no matter how.
Dear boy child, may this article encourage you always.
I wrote it specifically for you and with lots of love,